What does it mean to "be in integrity" with your stuff?
One of my many catchphrases is BE IN INTEGRITY WITH YOUR STUFF. Sounds lofty, but what does it mean?
Integrity is about knowing where you stand, morally/ethically/spiritually/wholeheartedly, on a continuum of anything, and then consciously adhering to that stance.
What does it mean related to your stuff? It means your home is full of items that you have an active stance on—things that, as Gretchen Rubin says, you need, use, and/or love—and only those things. It is about actively choosing, on an ongoing (or at least intervalled) basis, what to physically keep in your life and/or in your space. It means you know what you have and why you have it. There’s no “default” stuff—things that are there because your ambivalence about them has paralyzed you from taking action. It’s what you own ON PURPOSE.
Integrity. With your stuff. Make sense?
Now that we’re hopefully clear on that, the question remains—how do you do it? Well:
A. You have to want to do it. Otherwise you probably won’t do it? Here are some ways to think about it:
You can make it a priority in your psyche. (Internal narration: “This stuff is weighing me down/cluttering my ecosystem/draining my energy. Because I respect myself and my environment, I’m going to align the environment so it reflects how I feel.”)
You can make it a priority in your identity (Internal narration: “I am a person! Who lives with integrity! With their stuff! And all the things!”)
You can make a commitment to participate in your home ecosystem (Internal narration: “Eff those above ideas, but I will agree to do the needful around here to keep it 100%.”)
B. Choose an interval in which to check up on your stuff-integrity. This could look a few different ways:
You can train your brain to notice a preponderance of items gathered in a particular spot and then do something about it when you have a few minutes.
PROS: You tackle your stuff collection as it comes up—and on a smaller (i.e., potentially less overwhelming) scale—which, collectively, has an impact on your overall ecosystem. (See this blog post/catchphrase, ACCUMULATE THEN CURATE, for more info.) Also, training your brain to SEE/REGISTER the piles is a good tactic, because ONCE YOU SEE IT, YOU CAN’T UNSEE IT and you’re more likely to do the work as you notice it. #skillzforlife. (Internal narration: “Oh my! Look at all the coats that I have hung up by the backdoor! Do I need all these coats right now in this season and/or in general?”)
CONS: You have to NOTICE the accumulation and not be in a state of, like, visual information plateau (i.e., there’s so much stuff you no longer SEE stuff). However, if you’re not temperamentally visually inclined, training your brain to SEE/REGISTER could be a hard slog/uphill battle with your internal wiring. (Internal narration: “Stuff? Of what speakest thou? I see no stuff!” [pile of stuff falls on head])You can set a time frame—seasonal (spring cleaning?), quarterly (incorporate it into your quarterly tax filing routine?), weekly (incorporate it into your weekly bathroom cleaning routine?), whatever works for you. I suggest you look at where you might sneak it into an already existing routine, so that there’s one less time-bound habit you’re having to build from scratch.
PROS: You just do it when you’ve scheduled yourself to do it. You don’t have to think about it, you know you’re gonna get to it eventually—AND THAT EVENT IS ON THE BOOKS Y’ALL. So you’re free until that time, no guilt, no thinking about it! (Internal narration: “Yeah yeah I see BUT IT’S NOT ON MY CALENDAR FOR TODAY SO BUGGER* OFF.”)
*British swears sound more genteel. And I’m a fucking lady.
CONS: You have to remember to 1) actually schedule it, 2) actually do it, 3) actually do it regularly and on the interval you scheduled, and 4) not rebel against whatever framework you set for yourself. (Again, highly recommend Gretch’s 4 Tendencies quiz to know your motivation tendencies!) This one really comes back to #1—you have to want to do it, otherwise you maybe probably won’t do it. (Internal narration [to be read in an “up-talking” tone]: “I know? I scheduled it? But? I don’t really? Feel like it? Right now? Maybe? I’ll get to it? Later?” [AND THEN LATER NEVER COMES.])
Whatever interval and/or system you devise, just remember my other other catchphrase, which is that there is no system so good that it’ll do itself. You have to participate—see also, point A above.
Over time, you’ll hopefully start to notice your “stuff setpoint” pattern. Similar to how people’s bodies may have a “weight setpoint”—that is, a certain amount of pounds around which a smaller amount of pounds fluctuates depending on seasons, habits change, etc.—I think we have setpoints with our stuff. That is, an amount of things we feel comfortable having, which may vary depending on how many episodes of home makeover shows we watch in a given period and what shows we’re watching. I do think our stuff setpoint can change if we want it to—though like with any change, it takes conscious effort.
None of this is not to judge you! It is only to suggest that you take notice of what your setpoint might be. And maybe even consider why it is how it is—and furthermore, whether you’re interested in experimenting with shifting it. Because after all, this blog post is about integrity! Does your setpoint as you see it around you match who you want to be and how you want to live in relationship to your greater ecosystem? That’s between you and your integrity.
Totally at peace with her setpoint.